New Year’s Resolutions!

So here we are, having avoided the Mayan apocalypse, in 2013. I actually went home for new year and didn’t do much in the way of celebrating – my family have never really celebrated new year. So I spent it with some friends just chatting and watching films. We didn’t even realise when the clocks struck midnight! However, I have come up with some new year’s resolutions which I am definitely (maybe) going to stick to (probably not):

1. Get fit. This has been on my list of resolutions for the last 4 years running and is yet to happen. However, I have a feeling this is MY YEAR. Six pack here I come! Although six packs on women are kind of gross… Not getting out of breath from walking up the stairs here I come!
2. Find love. My friends chose this one on my behalf (Does that make me sound like less of a loser?) and also entailed the aim to ‘have more sex’. Anyway, I am rather fed up of being forever alone, and I swear every man I’ve ever been with is secretly gay, so this seemed like a deserving addition to my list. One of my friends has actually wished me to find love, and he’s clearly a wizard, so I like to think this one is a dead cert rather than a resolution. (Obviously joking, I’m destined to die an old maid for sure).
3. Watch less tv. I’m actually currently studying for a degree in Philosophy at King’s College London. Or at least I should be studying. I’ve actually spent most of my time so far perfecting the art of procrastination. This one had to be on my list because I’m actually hoping to pass my degree. And there’s a possibility that watching every episode of every american tv programme ever isn’t going to help me do that.
4. Do something really cool. Since arriving in London I’ve realised that everyone here seems to be doing something with their life while I’m just sat around doing not much at all. So I vow to at some point this year do something really super cool so I don’t feel like such a loser. It could be going travelling, learning magic (DYNAMO STYLE!) or even winning the X factor. I just don’t want to reach this time next year and still feel like I’ve achieved nothing.
5. Give up chips. This is another one set by my friends. To be honest, I don’t really eat many chips, so this shouldn’t be too much of a problem. McDonald’s serves fries, not chips, right? Fries are clearly completely different. So they don’t count.

So there we have it; my new year’s resolutions. I will try to keep you up to date on whether I actually succeed in keeping them, but until you hear more you can just assume I’m still an unfit, forever alone loser sat in my room watching TV while eating a bowl of chips.